What might have been

I handed in my official last piece of uni work today. What a triumphant feeling! The project I had recently been working on was a series of "yarn bombings" or "urban knitting". I have to admit it has been one of my favourite projects I've worked on and am certainly going to continue with it now I have more time. I find the whole experience of knitting something and then using it to change your surroundings completely empowering. For so long I had wished to be away from Leeds and the endless grey but without much luck. When I started my graffiti knitting I found an immediate love for it and what it stood for. I couldn't think of a more beautiful way to some up the positive feeling I get when I am urban knitting than "You don't knit for hate". Indeed.

Running to the future

This past week has been a surreal blur. I have now officially finished university! It appears that I have wished my life away for three years, hoping for this day constantly, and now that it is here, I feel most unprepared for it. I have never felt such deflation before.
Maybe this feeling is due to the fact that we truly ended on a high. What an encouraging, creative and ambitious week it has been! We have been emerged in work all week and I fear I will never be part of something so organic again.

Darling, hold me.

Please forgive me. I really have been absent for quite sometime. I have been quite truly swamped since I started back at university in September. I don't really have the time to be blogging now but I have sincerely missed doing so.
I'm sure many of you can sympathise with me when I say that I wish time would slow down just for a moment. In eight short weeks I will have finished university and the latest chapter of my life will be over. How can three years happen just like that? When I think of the things I have done, the things I didn't do, the places I have been, the people I have met, the people I have loved and the people I have lost in those three years, I can barely recognise myself and I'm sure that is a good thing, I think. If not, what a waste this all would have been.

Rufus the cat is currently curled up in my lap, he really is the prince of our house sometimes. The sun is shining, which always brightens my mood. Alas, I am stuck in doors working on my dissertation (well I will continue to be when I finish this post) I cannot be all doom and gloom though, I have the evening off to go and see Deerhunter, which I am very excited about.

My brother, you've been good to me

I should probably apologise for the lack of posting recently, I have neglected my blog for too long. Although, I'm not really that sorry. I have felt no desire to write whatsoever. For the first time its not for reasons I don't wish to disclose either, rather moments I have cherished and wish to hold to my heart and keep as the perfect moments that they were, just with me. I think there is something quite wonderful about sharing a moment between oneself and a memory that only you and another remember and when they catch your eye, you both know exactly what that smile is about.

I'm feeling very Bridget Jones tonight. All the ladies of Welton are out tonight, and I, am home alone listening to Mara Carlyle's Pianni on repeat, with my beautiful and not so little any more, kitten. My boyfriend bought me it on itunes and sent me it with a message, it was one of the most romantic things he's ever done. Quite the twenty first century romantic gesture. I am incredibly content right now.

* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAOv0OW-aos&feature=player_embedded#!

Sometimes I wonder if the world's so small

This is probably the longest I've left my blog for. This isn't because nothing interesting has happened in my life, quite the opposite really, I've been pretty busy this summer. I really feel like I've had the greatest summer, besides not being horrendously poor, I wouldn't have changed much else. These last few months have been a real learning curve. I've done some amazing things, I went to the Dominican Republic, I lived in London, I worked in a highly prestigious art gallery and now I'm about to work at London Fashion Week. I think my ideas on things have changed drastically too, especially when it comes to work, money, love, friends and my future. I'd like to think they are different in a positive way, I'm sure this will be tested in the coming year. I have one week left before I'm back in Leeds and in my FINAL year at University. How did this happen?! Where has the time gone?! Time really has completely passed me by and the end of this Leeds era is so near I can almost touch it. As apprehensive as I am, I can't wait to get back and embrace every moment of this last year.

Them & Us

"I'm so bored I could die".

Immortal last words hey? I guess this is how I'm feeling a bit tonight. It's ridiculously melodramatic, really. I've not felt like this in a while, but I'm starting to feel increasingly worried about the future again. It would seem that it didn't take me as long as I thought to get back into the swing of things. I'm so angry at myself for feeling like this. Oh please someone snap me out of this!

I'm currently in London again after a weekend at home. After weekends like this, I always feel guilty for never being there. Nothing seems to beat a Saturday night out with old friends, and this night was no exception. No matter how much we have all changed and grown out of our old lives in recent years, whenever I'm on that dance floor with Becky, I instantly feel sixteen years old again. This town will always have a place in my heart, even if it doesn't really have a place for me now.

I may be in London but I have never been so broke in my life. I don't have a single penny in my bank and I seem to owe everybody money. I think I have officially exhausted all my options.

Home is wherever I'm with you

I don't really feel I can put the last month into words, or not well enough to fully describe how truly inspiring it has been. Oddly enough, it already feels like a life time ago. It's been two weeks since I got back from the Dominican Republic and I've felt like I have been on a come down ever since. On numerous occasions I have tried to write about the experience, but every time, no words are drawn to me. Everything seems inadequate now and its so hard to explain the way I'm feeling.
I guess my apprehension before I left was to be expected, but completely unnecessary. All the things I worried about, were areas in which I excelled. I should have been more worried about my emotional preparedness. It shouldn't take a trip to a third world country to make you value what you have, but there is no way that it can't. I've found a real sense of perspective on things, I often wonder who benefited more from this trip, me or the people I met?
In our society we all lead such busy lives, when do we ever really take a break? We always seem to be worrying about something. The relief of leaving everything like that home was most welcome and its hard to try and get back into the swing on things. I think, more to the point, I don't want to get back into routine and lose that feeling.